True Blue Blogger

I like consulting. My friends sometimes ask me how to patch up their rocky relationships most likely due to poor decisions on their part or maybe they’re thinking about changing professions. Here’s what I do. I sit up straight and squint my eyes, just a bit, and pretend to listen to what they’re saying. I do listen actually, because getting the general theme of the discussion is highly pertinent to consulting. Then when they finally finish detailing the nuances of their particular issue my work begins.

The thing that I really like about the type of consulting work that I do is that there are no real requirements, except that my clients need to be desperate enough to come to me and listen. I often talk about subjects of which I have neither experience nor success. This is undoubtedly why my practice of consulting is strictly nonprofessional and I won’t likely be able to feed myself on the financial windfall I will never see.

I don’t want to talk disparagingly about anyone’s profession, because first, I’m a pretty nice guy and also because I really would set myself up for a retaliation with no known defense. So, in regards to internet advertising consults, I’m sure there great folks who probably contribute greatly to individual firms as well as the general economy.

I would, however, like to disparage the really funny individual that wrote an article considering internet advertising consulting as the topic of discussion. Why? For a really simple, and unquestionably benign, reason. Because he/she says that in order for one to become an internet advertising consultant one must successfully overcome just two hurdles. Quickly, I’ll say what they are. Professional advertising experience and internet knowledge.

Whatever, no big deal, right? Probably, but I get irritated for a couple reasons. The first and less important is that as a really bad quasi-consultant, I’m offended that this person would minimize that tools and skills necessary to find success in the consulting business. Secondly, and more importantly, I don’t like that this person is undoubtedly preying on the hopes of individuals looking to find a career in order to achieve professional and personal successes that they can be proud of.

That’s why my consulting business has thrived as it does. My clients (down and out friends) know that the only personal gain that I’m getting from it is my own enjoyment at listening to the sad state of their lives and also for the opportunity to offer ridiculous advice in the hopes that they follow it. Seems childish, but at least I’m not taking peoples money and self esteem to line my pockets.

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